Lilies in the Night
by cRoWnOfLiLiEs
Summary: A young girl from a random village gets involved with the Akatsuki, specifically Sasori. The story recounts her experiences while working for him as well as her time within Otogakure up until her death. Gives an insider's view of the aforementioned organizations and the progression of events.
1. Prologue

Lilies in the Night

Naruto Fan Fiction

Prologue

Although my child was by no means charmed, I did find myself content, for the most part. It went by swiftly and without instance; a blur of hot days spent running errands for the headmistress of the orphanage, talking to my fellows during not-nearly-long-enough lunch hours, and nights spent in the meadows gazing up at starts, or in the forest listening to the clamor of cicadas, or by the creek trying to catch the moon as it played on the water, or walking the streets in the pleasant summer rains. In the lovely, ever-present summer that surrounded my village, each day was much the same, and I rather liked it that way.

Perhaps the fondest memories I have of those days long gone are the lilies. Special lilies, I assure you, else they wouldn't have left such an impression. My friends and I – lovingly referred to as my brothers in sisters, since we each had none of our own to speak of – would spend each night in quiet anticipation, waiting for the one week each year when the midnight lilies would bloom. Midnight lily, of course, was not the flower's true name, but a common name, used mostly by the children of the village. Their real name was something far more complicated that, over the years, I've sadly forgotten.

They would grow during the day, and the villagers would watch them patiently. They would care for them in order to assure a dazzling display for the festival that coincided with their blooming.

The day before the lilies were scheduled to bloom, the village would spring into action; building decorative statues, painting murals, organizing events. It was such a rush of excitement that even those who were not involved with the planning and orchestration of the event were taken up in the emotion, wrapped in it like a cocoon. And that night, when the lilies showed their magnificent faces at midnight on the dot, each person was released from his or her cocoon as a star-struck butterfly, hypnotized by the bioluminescent flowers that glowed green and blue and magenta under the bright light of a full moon.

Gold and violet and crimson lines whirled on their cream petals, each a different pattern. They would tilt in the breeze, the gentle winds setting their pollen – aglow to match their respective host's coloration – free to drift and mingle until rainbow clouds formed just under the lowest branches of the trees. I remember reaching towards them on my toes, each year hoping to catch a handful of fairy dust to keep for myself, but to no avail. Only on the last year was I tall enough to touch it for myself, but my fingers came away with nothing but disappointment, which was thankfully whisked away instantly by a lily-scented breeze.

Only when the sun touched the tips of the mountains did the festivities stop each night. Under the sun's harsh rays, the midnight lilies would fade and wilt, truly spent, to make room for those that would bloom the following night, and the night after that, and so on, until there were no more to be seen.

On those nights, my childhood was charmed. Looking back, it saddens me that I was only alive for seven of those magical festivals, and that I was only able to fully enjoy four of those seven. If things hadn't gone so horribly, horribly wrong, I would have stayed there forever.

But I could not. I did not. And now, with so many steps taken – both away from my home and away from my childhood innocence – I cannot go back.

I am Mayonaka Yuri. I was named for the lilies that painted the moonlit sky with vibrant colors. I have always felt alive under the moon, never happier than when I walk the night.

But now, the night has been spent. Now, like the lilies, I am dying in the light of dawn.

Akatsuki has killed me.

Would you like to know how?


	2. Chapter 1

Lilies in the Night

Naruto Fan Fiction

Chapter 1

The festival was long over. It had been weeks since the last lily died, and yet I still walked the night. I felt their fallen petals beneath my bare feet, and took in their lingering scent. I couldn't stay away. The moon would call to me, in my room at night, and it would keep me awake. There were many nights like those, where I simply did not sleep. No one ever asked questions, so I assumed it was normal.

That night, I was by the creek. Though I usually went in, frolicking in the crystal clear waters until I was convinced that I could not, in fact, catch the moon's reflection, that night I stayed on its sandy bank, watching as it rippled with the current. I was lacking energy that night, for a reason I wasn't quite certain of. My day had been calm, with relatively few errands. I was not sad, although my recent failure to be adopted would have given me reason enough to be so.

No, I was simply in a rut.

I had never experienced one before, and so I was unaware of it at the time. Looking back, however, I realized that I had run out of things to do. I was no longer content running errands and talking to my 'siblings' in the orphanage. Most of the children my age had either been adopted or had started training to be ninjas. I alone remained, the last of my age group at the orphanage, apparently held back to look after the younger residents. They looked up to me, and their admiration and need of my advice and assistance gave me some satisfaction, but I couldn't help but feel inadequate. I had yet to find my gift, as some would say.

I'd tried almost everything.

My uneasiness around sharp objects – particularly needles – made me unfit to be a medic. I wasn't strong enough to wield weapons. I didn't understand summoning circles, and wouldn't have had the courage to draw my own blood for them anyway. There were certain simple jutsus that I could perform, but elemental and advanced ones flat out never came to me.

At seven years old, the orphanage's owner told me that there was no rush. I remained unconvinced.

I sat on the sand and thought about all of this as I watched wilted petals float past me. The scent of the lilies soothed me, but they could not calm my thoughts.

Suddenly, their scent was overpowered by something else. It was a foul smell, one that made me wrinkle my nose and turn my head to find the source, but there was nothing around. I wondered if, perhaps, it was just a smell from the village carried to me by the wind.

Then, I started to hear things. Small, little noises. They rode the air under the sound of the water, nearly drowned out, but still audible. I titled my head to listen.

Crunching, creaking, scuffling.

Breathing.

My pulse quickened as I rose and took a few hurried steps towards the village. Abruptly, I was pushed down onto my knees. A sense hit me, a feeling of dread just under my ribcage. As I tried to figure out what it was, the feeling separated itself into several distinguishable ones: rage, dread, sorrow, disappointment, aggravation, impatience, loneliness, depression, guilt, and the slightest hint of curiosity. As a combined force, they were overpowering. My vision was reduced to flickering, swirling patterns of color, and I fell to the side, curling into the fetal position on the ground.

I wasn't aware of how long it took, but I eventually heard voices. I couldn't understand them, perhaps due to the confusion I was already facing. I hoped against hope that they would help me, that they would make it stop.

I blacked out.


	3. Chapter 2

Lilies in the Night

Naruto Fan Fiction

Chapter 2

When I awoke, I could not move. I was not restrained, as far as I could tell, but I was nevertheless paralyzed. The feeling just below my rib cage was still present, but it had changed. It now contained more emotions than it had before. It suddenly occurred to me, in that moment, that the emotions it held were not my own.

I heard voices around me, but they were so distant that I couldn't understand them. I could, however, distinguish between them. I could tell that they were men's voices. Most of them were deep or raspy, or a combination of the two. I recognized two, very vaguely, as those of the people I'd heard just before losing consciousness. I estimated that there were maybe four or five people there, given that some of them might not be speaking. I thought about opening my eyes to check, but found myself too afraid to do so. Underneath the undulating emotions of others, I had not recognized the fear as my own.

I counted the emotions, separating them from each other, this time on purpose.

Anger, suspicion, jealousy, and curiosity all belonged to the same person, I realized, though I wasn't sure which one. Distrust, impatience, arrogance, and depression belonged to another individual. Guilt, remorse, eagerness, and desperation. Aggravation, fatigue, boredom, and frustration. Confidence, determination, pride, and shock.

And underneath it all, my own fear and confusion.

Once they were sorted, they made way for the words being spoken around me. I kept my eyes closed, and listened.

"After your recent success, I had expected the two of you to be able to capture the child with ease." The first voice was deep, but not raspy. He sounded young.

"This girl fits the description, doesn't she?" Another man quipped. The voice was closer to me than the last. "If you do not want mistakes to be made, then be more precise with your orders."

"Or do it yourself." A monotone voice spoke up from across the room.

"You've wasted all our time with this mission." The closest voice thus far was deep and gravelly. It had an odd echo to it.

"Enough!" The first voice sounded again. "That's it. I'll just have Kisame complete the mission." There was a pause. "I'm sure I can count on him more than the two of you."

There were a few footsteps, the ruffling of papers, and then silence.

"What do we do with this one?" the closest voice asked.

"It's up to you. We don't need her."

There was another long moment of silence. "Perhaps she'd be useful as a spy." The close voice said.

"I may be mistaken…" the other familiar voice started. "But aren't you already in possession of a child spy?"

"I am, but…the more, the merrier." The comment, spoken by such a voice, was almost comical.

The other man gave a snort. I couldn't tell if it was of laughter or derision.

Suddenly, I felt my limbs moving of their own accord. As I was lifted from the floor, I screamed and flailed, and my eyes shot open.

"Hm?" I was dropped painfully and unceremoniously back onto the floor. "I see. You were awake after all." I locked my gaze with that of the man closest to me. He was hunched over, and most of him was covered in black cloth. Even the lower half of his face was obscured. His eyes were hollow, as if no soul hid behind them.

I stood, backpedaled, lost my balance, and fell down once more. A wave of amusement came from him, but was quickly replaced by aggravation. The other man laughed.

"It seems that Hiruko is a bit too frightening for this situation, hm, Sasori?" he said, followed by another chuckle. While he wasn't as threatening-looking as the hunched one apparently called Sasori, I got a sense that he was the one I should be more concerned about. He seemed altogether delighted at my panicked reaction.

Sasori responded with a glare before returning his attention to me. "I'm not sure what to do with you just yet." He said. "I guess…I should ask a few questions."

He interrogated me for a while, his emotions never shifting. However, the other one, whose name I never learned, underwent fluxuation in how he felt towards me, starting with disdain and disinterest and ending with curiosity and, much to my surprise, recognition. Familiarity was the last thing I wanted from him, and I shuddered at the thought.

When he was done, he was quiet for a while before finally admitting, "I'm still not sure what I should do with you."

"It seems she'd make a decent spy. Remember during the meeting? She was awake the whole time and none of us knew."

"True…but I don't have the time to train her."

"Let…the other one do it." The other man suggested.

Sasori was silent for another while. Then, he turned away from me. "Stay there, girl. I'll be back." With that, he left me alone with the other man. He eyed me from his spot, smirking. Even from a distance, he made me very uncomfortable.

I looked around and realized that he and I were the only two around. Whoever had been there before was gone, and had probably left before or during Sasori's questions. I looked around at the surroundings, taking in the tall buildings. I wondered where I was, but not for very long. I soon realized that the man across the room was no longer across the room, but far too close.

I inched back a foot or so, and he chuckled. "You remind me of someone." He said, taking a step closer.

I said nothing. I tried to hold his gaze, but his eyes – yellow and slatted, like a snake's – unsettled me. I directed my eyes towards the ground.

He squatted beside me and put his face close enough to mine that I could feel his breath on my temple. "I believe the two of you will get along just fine." He chuckled again. "That is…if you join me."

The hair on my neck and arms rose, but I stayed still and silent, hoping he'd eventually get bored and walk away.

"I have more to offer you than Sasori…tell me. What is it that you want?"

I closed my eyes tightly.

"Power?" he asked. "No…you don't seem the type. You said you're an orphan? What about family?"

He was lying. Giving false promises. I got the sense that he wasn't being serious. He just wanted to see what I would do. What I would say.

I said nothing. I did nothing.

He grunted, stood, and walked away. "All right." He said. "Suit yourself."

I opened my eyes, and he was gone. I was alone.

I contemplated getting up and running off, but I was indecisive. Where would I go? I didn't have any clue where I was or how I'd gotten there. What would I do? If I was as lost as I thought I was, then how would I find a place to stay? What would I eat? Sure, as I wasn't needed, it was unlikely that I would be chased, but…

I thought about it for too long. Sasori came back with a teenage boy following him.

"Kabuto." The boy nodded in response. "This is…the one I want you to teach." He told the boy. "I'll give you a few weeks off from your usual responsibilities to do so."

"Yes, Sasori-sama." The boy replied. He bowed slightly.

"Good." He said, and left.

Once he was out of sight, the boy, Kabuto, took a notepad from his pocket and jotted something down. As he did so, I contemplated his emotions. Irritation, mostly, with underlying tones of confusion. There was loneliness, too, mixed in with variations of sadness that didn't even come close to the depression I'd felt from Sasori.

When he was done writing, he came over to me. "Are you ok?" he asked. I realized that I was still huddled in a ball on the ground. I nodded and stood. "I'm Kabuto." He said. "Who are you?"

I knew I shouldn't, but I ended up giving him my name anyway. He wasn't at all threatening, and I could tell he really didn't care. "Mayonaka."

"Interesting." He said, referring to my name. I knew it wasn't typical, but no one had ever said anything about it.

"So's yours." I said.

He made an odd expression. "Thanks, I guess."

"What…" I started, and then realized that I didn't actually have a question.

"Yes?"

I shook my head. "Never mind."

Suddenly, my stomach growled. I put a hand over it while Kabuto laughed. "Why don't we get you something to eat?" he suggested. I nodded.

How could he laugh? Was he unaware of their situation? I thought about it. Perhaps he had come to terms with it. Sure, he was sad, but it seemed like he was sad about other things. He wasn't very frightened, either. I tried to delve into why, but it seemed as if that was where my empathy came to a halt.

Frustratingly, he brightened my mood as the day went on, making comical quips and reciting anecdotes. Everything he did was so casual, so absolutely normal, that it made everything seem almost ok.

Almost.

His upbeat behavior couldn't prevent me from crying myself to sleep that night. I was afraid, alone, and in the dark, and the heartbreaking absence of the moon set me off. I didn't sob as loudly as I could have, but I was sure whoever was around heard me.

It was the first and the last time I would ever cry myself to sleep.


	4. Chapter 3

Lilies in the Night

Naruto Fan Fiction

Chapter 3

"Whatcha doin'?" I asked Kabuto one morning. He was sitting near the edge of Amegakure, underneath a wide-rimmed, purple umbrella. I was glad he always carried it around with him. If he'd been out there in the rain wearing nothing but his black-and-gray garb, I never would've been able to distinguish him from the building he was on.

When he didn't respond right away, I stepped closer to peer over his shoulder. He was writing in a small journal bound in leather. I was able to see only a few small drawings of animals before he snapped the book shut.

"Not much." He replied.

"What do you write in there?"

_Suspicion. _"Oh, nothing, really. It's just a journal."

"So, thoughts and ideas and stuff?"

_Hesitant trust. _"More like events and observations." He told me. "And stuff." He added with a smirk.

"Cool." I sat next to him, dangling my feet over the small ledge.

"You're all wet." He commented.

"Well, it is raining." I said, pointing to the sky. Rain fell heavily in Amegakure every day, without fail. It had depressed me at first, but I found that I enjoyed the sound of it, and the feel of it on my skin.

"I thought I got you an umbrella."

"You did."

"Why don't you use it?" He suggested. "That way you won't get wet."

I huffed. "I don't use it because I don't feel like lugging it around. And besides...I like rain."

He shrugged. "Suit yourself, I guess. Don't blame me if you catch a cold."

I was silent for a moment, and in that silence got to thinking about the Akatsuki. I didn't know much about them, aside from the fact that Sasori-sama worked for them. I turned to Kabuto. "Kabuto-sempai?"

"Yes?"

"About the Akatsuki..." _Dread. _"Isn't their goal...I dunno...peace, or something?"

He laughed. "Something like that."

I looked up at the gray clouds. "So does that make them good guys?"

"Not sure." He replied. "I guess it depends on how you look at it. Depending on who you ask, the Akatsuki can be either good or bad..."

"So what does that make us?"

He smiled and placed a hand on my shoulder. "We're spies."

"That clarifies nothing."

He laughed. I glared. Eventually, he stopped, sighed, and tentatively ruffled my hair. It made me slightly uncomfortable, since he'd never done anything so casually endearing before. He seemed a bit confused by the action, as well, so we silently decided to pretend it hadn't happened.

"Are we going to practice today?" I asked a moment later.

He thought about it. "We don't have to. We're well ahead of schedule."

I smiled. "Sasori-sama will be happy about that, right?"

He chuckled. "I don't know about 'happy,' but he sure does like it when things run ahead of schedule."

"'Do what he says when he says and without complaint!'" I paraphrased.

"Exactly."

"So if we aren't gonna practice, what are we gonna do?"

"Not sure." He spun the umbrella over our heads. "I'd say we could go for a walk, but Amegakure isn't exactly 'scenic' is it?"

"Not even a little."

"And the weathers not the best."

"More like downright awful."

"But you said you liked the rain."

"Well..." He'd caught me. I quickly thought up an answer. "I might like rain, but that doesn't mean it counts as nice weather. It's still icky."

"That it is."

He stood, taking his purple umbrella with him. "Why don't we go for a walk anyway?"

"Ok."

We walked down the paved streets, making slow but steady progress. I'll admit to being the cause of our pace. Every few feet, I would stop to look at a slug, or a worm, or to step in a puddle. Once, I stepped in one a little too close to Kabuto, and got him wet.

"Sorry, Kabuto-sempai..." I said, rushing over to him and trying to wipe away a few loose drops that had collected on his clothing.

After a short grunt, he said, "its fine, Mai." He took of his glasses, which were spotted with grimy, greenish-brown puddle water, and wiped them dry on his shirt. I watched as he did so, carefully and precisely. It took him a while. When he finally replaced them on the bridge of his nose, they were spotless and gleaming.

"...still sorry." I said when he was done.

He laughed. "It's still ok."

"Really?"

"Sure."

"That wasn't very convincing..."

"I mean yes, Mai, its fine."

"All right."

For the rest of the walk, I wondered why he didn't address the greenish-brown spots on his clothing with the same urgency he'd given to his glasses. After some deep thought, I came to the conclusion that it was because he was more concerned with being able to see than preventing stains.

We walked into a part of town where the buildings no longer had insides. They were just solid towers meant as lookout posts...or so I'd been told. Occasionally, Kabuto would take me up to the top of one of the shorter ones. He never explained why. I always got nervous, being up that high, but he seemed to enjoy it.

But that day, we stayed on the ground. I splashed in puddles, keeping my distance from my slightly-soggy-sempai, until my amusement was disrupted by something awful.

An overwhelmingly sad feeling took over the area. No...Not sad. Regretful. Remorseful. Guilty. But resigned, and somehow content. I looked around.

"What is it?" Kabuto asked from under his umbrella. At that point, he was the only person who knew about my empathetic abilities.

I shrugged. As far as I could see, there wasn't a single person around other than the two of us. I knew the emotions didn't belong to me, and Kabuto tended to keep his better hidden than that, so I was completely confused.

"Maybe we should go." He suggested, looking around himself. Maybe he could sense something there, too. I couldn't be sure.

"Ok." I said. We walked back to where I'd been staying. Sasori was waiting there for us, and chided Kabuto for allowing me to get as soaked as I was. I tried to tell him it was my fault, but he just grunted.

He never spoke to me the way he spoke to Kabuto. He just grunted and growled and nagged. One time, he hit me. I later learned that it was because I'd touched on a sensitive subject. I stayed away from it from that day on, but I was always tempted to say something similar, just to see what happened. The first time, it had all happened to fast, I hadn't been able to see his hand. Up until then, I hadn't really thought about what he had hidden under his cloak, but it got me thinking…where did he keep his arms? Where were his legs? Did he have legs? It sure didn't look like it.

"Sasori-sama kinda looks like someone cut off his legs and stuck his feet right onto his body." I mentioned to Kabuto one day, during a lunch break.

He laughed a bit louder than usual at my comment. "I guess he does, doesn't he?"

"Like…a roly-poly." I said, finding just such a bug on the ground beside me and flicking it away. "'sept he walks."

"I don't know…" he said in a joking tone. "Maybe he rolls around sometimes."

The thought of him rolling in circles caused a fit of laughter that reduced me to tears and cramps. I only stopped laughing because I couldn't take the pain in my stomach anymore.

Just like that, I was laughing the same way Kabuto had been that first day. Sure, I missed certain things about my home. The orphanage, my 'siblings,' and the sun were just a couple examples. But not having left a whole awful lot behind made it that much easier for me to let go, and to adapt. Kabuto taught me that spying was a lot like acting. Pretending to be part of a certain village, pretending to be someone's friend, pretending to not exist…those were all part of the job. As it turned out, I was a decent actor. Kabuto also told me that my appearance would serve as a good cover in any situation, too. In the eyes of most, kids like me weren't suspicious in any sense of the word.

And so, when my training was over, he only had one thing to tell me.

"No matter who you're pretending to be," he said, "don't lose your sense of self." I didn't quite know what he meant by that. I wouldn't know until I ran into him again years later. It didn't really matter at that time. Before he left, he handed me a journal. It looked a lot like his, except it had my name written on the inside cover, and the pages were blank. He didn't say anything about it, and it didn't come with instructions, but I understood what it was for.

And so, that night, I wrote on the very first page:

EVENTS AND OBSERVATIONS

VOLUME 1


	5. Chapter 4

Lilies in the Night

Naruto Fan Fiction

Chapter 4

After my training with Kabuto ended, I was immediately sent to spy on a village far away from Amegakure. Before leaving, Sasori had told me that he would be sending another one of his spies, or his 'servants' as he called them sometimes, to pick up information on the area. I was to find out about the land surrounding the village, and also about the village leaders. I was anxious to get a move on, as I was starting to grow tired of the constant rain, but I was also nervous. What if I wasn't able to get enough information? They'd threatened to get rid of me before, would they actually do it if I failed as a spy?

Eventually, I became calm. I chose to accept anything that would come my way. I was a spy, so I would simply observe and record events and observations.

As Sasori had said, a 'servant' of his came always announced by a small, red-and-black tack in a post near the village entrance. They came a night, and I met them at the designated area – a twisted dead tree in the middle of a field where tall grass grew higher than I stood – and told him what I had learned. After the first two months, I realized that it was simply easier to write things down each day, rather than wait and remember. I didn't want to give up the journal Kabuto had given me, so I the first time I wrote stuff down, I just used loose paper and wrote in a sort of code. I handed over the first time with mild embarrassment at the disheveled mess of papers and keys, and expected the man to get angry. However, the man, to my surprise, merely laughed at the pile and handed me his own journal in return, and a small bronze key that locked it. Of course, he had to pull out a few pages before giving it to me, but I didn't mind. I was new to being a spy, but I understood that, given our profession, he couldn't trust me, nor I him.

He gave me other journals after that, bringing an extra empty one with him each time. I would keep each journal locked tight, with the key hidden away, and I would hand both items to the ninja when he came.

The first three months, the man that came to meet me was a brown-haired man with long scars across his face. He always seemed a bit melancholy, but greeted me all the same. The third time we met, he seemed jittery and nervous. I couldn't get him to tell me why. I never saw him again, after that.

The fourth month brought a new 'servant' to the village. It was a girl with short black hair. She was nicer than the man before, but she had an odd accent that I had trouble understanding. I ended up just nodding along to her attempts at conversation, understanding at most five words out of every twenty. She only came three consecutive times over the fourth month.

The third 'servant,' who came to me for seven months, was middle-aged and cranky. I don't remember his face or hair color, as he always wore a hood in my presence, but his voice was a bit gravelly, and I remember his eyes to have been rather haunting.

Almost three years later, a boy came. I could tell he was different than the other three even before I saw him. His emotions were different from the other spies that had been sent to meet me. He lacked a certain amount of hesitancy and distrust.

_Boredom. Curiosity. _

He was maybe about as old as Kabuto had been. At first, I wasn't certain of his gender, but his voice made it clear almost immediately.

I remember meeting him quite vividly. He walked up the narrow road and off the beaten path to join me at the base of the tree. Right away, he jumped into it, and motioned for me to do the same. I perched on a branch next to his, but slightly lower. He sat, but I remained standing. He looked me up and down for a moment – a long moment – before offering me his hand. I shook it, and he laughed heartily when I recoiled in disgust.

"Surprised, hm?" he said, grinning. He held up his hand, which smiled at me, as well.

I wrinkled my nose, but made no comment. I wiped my hand on my pants.

"You're no fun, un." He muttered. He reached into a bag he had tied around his waist. "You're Danna's little spy, right, hm?" he asked, "Mayonaka?"

I nodded.

He jabbed at his chest with a thumb. "I'm Deidara. Call me...mm...Deidara-sempai, un." He said. I wanted to roll my eyes, but refrained. Unlike Kabuto, I didn't feel like he quite deserved the honorific.

"All right, Deidara-sempai."

"Yeah…that sounds about right, un." He said, cupping his hand around his chin and looking up at the sky through his blonde bangs. He turned back to me. "I work with Sasori-danna. I'm his 'partner in crime' literally and metaphorically, un."

"Then why are you all the way out here?" I asked him. It didn't seem to make sense.

"To take you back, un."

_Oh,_ I thought, _right. How did I miss that?_

I nodded.

"All right then, un! We should head out. Danna gets cranky if you keep him waiting too long, un."

"So I hear." The first 'servant' had spent ample time complaining about it.

I jumped down from the tree, but the boy stopped me. "Hey! Where ya going?" he asked.

"What?"

"We're not walking all the way back there! You gotta be nuts, un."

"I walked all the way here."

He paused. "Well, sure. But I have a better way."

"Do you now?" I'll admit, I was skeptical. I crossed my arms.

"Yep!" he showed me something he held in his hand, but I couldn't quite make it out from my spot on the ground. That wasn't really an issue, though, for in moments it was larger than life. Or, at the very least, several hundred times life-size. It was a great big bird, appearing to have been modeled after an owl of some sort.

He jumped from his branch onto the bird's back. "Well, un?" he said, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow.

"You expect me to get on that thing?"

"No," he said, his words dripping with sarcasm, "I expect you to tie yourself to its foot so I can fly you like a kite."

"No need for sarcasm." I muttered, making my way onto its back. Once there, we took off. I unintentionally squeaked in fright as we jolted off the ground, colliding into the boy and subsequently clinging to his leg for stability.

"Get off me, un!" he said, attempting to kick me off. In my panicked state, he couldn't loosen my grip, and eventually gave up. "Some sorry excuse for a ninja you are, un."

"I'm not a ninja!" I yelled over the gale-force winds. "I'm a spy."

"Same difference." He said, and then did something akin to a double-take. "Wait, you mean you can't do shit?"

I made a face at him, but answered anyway. "I can do regular ninja stuff. Like clones and decoys."

He laughed. "That's fucking hilarious! I can't believe Sasori-danna's wasting his time with a pathetic waste of space like you, un! Can't do shit…ha! I hate to break it to ya, girly, but you're probably gonna bite the dust once we get there."

"What?"

"He's probably gonna kill you, un."

I thought about it and, to my horror, realized that it was probably true. I started to worry. Desperation set it. And in that desperate state, I could only think of one thing to say. "Well, shit."

"Damn right, well shit." He said. "I gotta say, I feel bad for ya, un. What are ya? Six? Seven?

"Nine."

"What? Really? Wow, you're pretty short, un. I'm fifteen, myself."

"I figured."

His expression turned grave. "Gone and gotten ourselves in a fine mess, haven't we, hm?" he said.

"What?"

"The Akatsuki."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess."

"You guess?" looked down at me. "What do you mean, you guess?"

"Well…I've heard they're really bad, but…I haven't really been all that involved with them. I've barely even dealt with Sasori-sama…um…I really don't know much about them at all, actually."

"And you're ok with that, hm?"

"Kinda." I said, looking off into the distance.

"How's that?" he scoffed.

"Well…the less you know about stuff, the less important you are…and if you're not that important, you're less likely to be…you know, a target." I said simply.

Deidara thought about it for a minute, adjusting our course slightly before answering. "I guess that makes sense, un." He chuckled. "Kinda funny to hear something like that coming from a spy, though, un."

That time, I laughed with him. "I guess it is, isn't it?"

After that, we got along swimmingly. We conversed almost the entire way, talking about one thing or another. We avoided any discussion of our jobs altogether. He was surprised for most of the ride, though I couldn't tell about what. For the last bit he seemed to lose interest in me. Distracted, let's say, or maybe conflicted.

As we approached Amegakure, Deidara grew silent. "Are you…are you sure you wanna go in there, hm?"

"What? Of course."

"All right…cuz…well...I'd be willing to drop you a little ways off."

"What? Why?" _is he embarrassed to be seen with me?_

He suddenly turned to me. "You don't deserve to die. You're just a kid! You haven't done a goddamn thing to deserve any of this, un."

"Well, neither have you." I said once I recovered from the shock of his outburst.

He smirked, and turned away. "You don't know…you don't know how wrong you are, un. I do deserve this. But you don't. And you…you have a chance, at least. If you go back, back to wherever you came from, they'll...welcome you." He paused. "I can't say the same, un."

I thought about it, but only for a moment. "I'll accept whatever comes."

"Are you sure, hm?"

"Yeah." I looked down at the tall, rain-sleeked buildings beneath us. The rain had stopped for the moment, but the dark gray clouds remained overhead, an ever-present threat. "It's not like I have high expectations."

He nodded, and, in silence, we landed. We went inside one of the shorter buildings, which I remembered being a hub of activity while I was training with Kabuto. He led me down a hallway and stopped outside a door marked with a red cloud. It was kinda cute-looking, all puffy and stuff.

"Stay here, un." He said, before disappearing inside. As always, the mixture of emotions was too disorganized for me determine just how many people were there, but I could tell that there were fewer than there had been in the past. The only thing I knew for certain was that they all had differing amounts of anger in them.

A minute or so later, he and Sasori came out. Sasori turned to the teen. "I told you to wait in there, you little shit."

He looked a bit hurt for a moment. "I heard you the first time, un! I just…never mind…" he looked from Sasori to me, and then back, before going back. Before he did so, I saw the faint concern in his eyes.

"Mayonaka."

I almost used his title, but decided against it, and merely bowed.

"Congratulations. Your training was a success."

I nodded. "What does that mean?"

"You'll be off on another mission in a matter of days. It's another long-term mission. I'm sending you to a place in the dessert. Sunagakure. You'll be there indefinitely."

I nodded. _Do as he asks promptly, practically, and without complaint._ I thought, though I couldn't remember who'd said it.

"I need you there to keep an eye on a sleeper agent. No one will suspect you as long as you stay out of the way."

He handed me a slip of paper with information on it.

"The brat will take you there. You'll pretend to be injured…or something. Make your way to the front gates."

"Wait…injured?" I said. "How can I pretend to be injured?"

"You won't." he answered. "Also…You shouldn't drink for about twenty-four hours beforehand. You should show up at their doorstep dehydrated."

After that, he sent me back outside. Half of me wanted to know what was going on behind that door – it felt like some kind of argument – but the other half wanted to enjoy the rainless day. I decided to be frivolous, and went until late afternoon simply running around the familiar streets, skipping through puddles. By the end of the day, I was thoroughly soaked, but still perfectly content. The only thing on my mind was enjoying the excess of water. Once my next mission started, I wouldn't be seeing rain for a while.


	6. Chapter 5

Lilies in the Night

Naruto Fan Fiction

Chapter 5

"We _are_ going to Sunagakure, right, hm?"

"Yes." I told the artist. I tried not to move too much. It was only my second time off the ground in so many days, and I had no desire to accidentally fall over the edge. At the very least, I wasn't clinging to him anymore

He sighed. "I'm worried about you, kid."

"Why?"

"You don't seem to realize the hell you've gotten yourself into, un." he said, shaking his head.

"What do you mean?"

"That's exactly what I mean, un!" he said. "All this. Your whole life is gone because of this...shit. Everything you have or could've had is gone, and you're only nine, un!"

"I guess." I looked up, not wanting to remind myself of how far away the ground was.

"There's that again! 'I guess.' You can't tell me you're ok with them taking everything from you, un."

"To be honest...I didn't have all that much to start with. I didn't have a family, or anything that I could really call mine...I didn't have anything to do with myself, most days. At least now I have something to keep me busy. I get to travel. The risk is pretty low...it's not so bad."

"...that's screwed up, un. You're a screwed up kid."

"Hey! Don't be mean!"

"I'm not being mean! It's just..._seriously, _hm?"

"Yeah." I thought about it. "I never had much to live for. I still don't have much to live for. But when I'm working, I can forget about that. I play a character. It's fun. I get to be whoever I want."

He adjusted our course. "Still screwed up, un."

"Well, why do you work for the Akatsuki, Deidara-sempai?"

He laughed, but there was no happiness in it. "Because I have to, un."

"What do you mean?"

"Eh...it's hard to explain...it's kind of like I lost a bet, un, and now I have to do what they say."

"Oh…That stinks."

"Yeah." He fiddled with his hair a bit before going on. "About the only good I get outa this is practice, un."

"Practice?"

"Yeah. Beats being a hit man. They had all kinds of restrictions...I couldn't break anything, un. Wasn't allowed to damage anything when I took a target out. That sucked, un."

"Um...hit-man?"

_Guilt, shock and embarrassment. _I got the feeling that he'd told me something he hadn't meant to.

"Never mind, un."

"What does it mean?"

"Just forget it, un!" He shouted.

_Desperation._

I knew he hadn't to yell, but I still flinched.

_Guilt. Remorse._

The rest of the flight was awkward between us. It felt as if he wanted to apologize, but he didn't. I watched the clouds roll by above us, picking out shapes and patterns.

After an indeterminable amount of time, he spoke again, barely audible over the wind. "We're almost there."

I was surprised, and looked towards the ground against my better judgment. Immediately, my head swam a product not only of the height but also of the stretching sandy landscape beneath us. It was seemingly endless. I jerked my head back up to the sky and took a few deep breaths.

"You ok, hm?"

"Fine." I told him. It wasn't exactly a lie, I thought, as my heart slowed and the contents of my stomach retreated.

"You don't like flying, do you, hm?" he asked.

"Erm…Not really."

"Sorry. We could've walked, but this is faster, un."

"No, I understand."

"Is it the heights?"

"Seems like it."

"Sasori-danna doesn't like flying either." He said, more as an afterthought than anything else. I could tell he wasn't really talking to me. "I should drop you off soon, un." he told me. I nodded, and he took us down to the sand. I hopped onto the rolling sands, almost slipping as I did so. Before he took off again, he warned, "be careful of storms, un. They come out of nowhere."

I waved goodbye, and watched until I could no longer see his bird through the glaring dessert sun. His last comment had baffled me. There wasn't a single cloud in the sky. Regardless, I soon forgot the warning. I walked towards a shimmering form in the distance, which vaguely resembled a mountain. Sasori had told me Sunagakure would look something like that from afar. I immersed myself in the complicated task of walking along the dunes without sinking into them. With that taking up the entirety of my attention, I didn't hear the whistling of the wind, or the low, rumbling sound that accompanied it.


	7. Chapter 6

Lilies in the Night

Naruto Fan Fiction

Chapter 6

I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of howling wind outside. I blinked a few times in the darkness so my eyes could adjust. Slowly, things took form. I saw the bedframe, the window, and a table at the far end of the room.

I moved slightly, wanting to know what the commotion outside was, but a tug at the crook of my elbow let me know that I was attached to an IV. I shivered at the thought of it.

I took the stand with me - it stood on three wheels - and walked over to the curtains. Once parted, the racket was revealed to be due to a sandstorm. I stared in wonder for a moment, trying and failing to take in the whirling sand. _I guess this is what Deidara-sempai was referring to, _I thought, remembering his words just before he departed.

I couldn't see anything beyond it. Then, suddenly, I remembered seeing a great wall before passing out. I assumed that a patrol had found me, and had transported me to wherever I was then. Perhaps I was within the wall, I thought, but I knew that couldn't be it. The wall had looked very high. Surely it would be able to defend against sandstorms.

I jumped when the door creaked open.

"Hello?" A young woman spoke. "Oh...I thought I heard something." She said with a smile.

"Hi..." I quickly reminded myself that I was pretending to know nothing.

"How are you feeling? Better, obviously." She brushed her long brown hair behind her ear and came over to me. I shied away. "But you shouldn't be up and about just yet."

"Ok." I let her take my hand and guide me back to the cot.

"Why don't you tell me your name?" She suggested once I was settled in. "I'm Tsukiko."

"...my name? Oh...it's...um...it's..." I pretended to struggle, and to become scared and frustrated.

"You don't remember?" She asked. _Pity._

I gave her my most withered, crestfallen look and shook my head.

She smiled. "That's ok. I'm sure it'll come back to you soon."

She was with me all day, asking questions and bringing in things for me to eat and drink. In the early evening, she got to talking to me about her family. At home, it was just her and her husband. I learned that she was a fan if sashimi, but that she didn't like rice. I Iearned that her husband was retired at 38 because of an injury. I learned so much about her that, by the time it was time for me to sleep, I felt horrible. I felt bad because I couldn't tell her anything about myself. It made me a little sick inside...but only a little.

I had an odd dream that night. I remember being back in Amegakure, in the pouring rain, with Sasori and Kabuto and Deidara. Slowly, Sasori morphed into a demon the size of a mountain. He stomped around, destroying buildings and crushing people. Deidara tried to stop him by flying around his head, but Sasori just swatted him out of the sky. Kabuto tried to get me to run away, pulling me towards someplace dark and morbid, but Sasori stabbed him with one of his horns before we got very far. I woke with a jolt the following morning, just after Sasori's gargantuan foot stomped me flat.

Someone came in later on in the day, but it wasn't Tsukiko. I asked about her, but the man didn't know where she was. He'd brought me a plate of bland food, which I practically inhaled.

It wasn't until just after I was given lunch that Tsukiko finally came. She walked in with a bright and happy smile. "Hello!"

"Hello."

_Happiness. Concern. Curiosity. _"Have you...remembered anything?" she asked tentatively.

I shook my head, and she sighed. She went to take my hand, but stopped herself. "I'm sorry." she said. "I know all of this must be hard for you."

I said nothing. She wasn't wrong. In fact, the opposite was true. She just didn't understand how right she was.

"The village...Well, the village leaders are suspicious of you." she said suddenly, and in a hurry. _Worry, pity, and slight anger._

"Why?"

She tried several times to tell me, but stopped herself mid-sentence each time. _Confusion, disbelief, aggravation._ Finally, she calmed herself, "I know you don't remember anything, and chances are you're just some poor child that got lost in the desert, but..." she felt very strongly about that particular part of it. She paused again to collect her thoughts before continuing. "Right now, Sunagakure - that's where you are - is at odds with most other villages. Our situation, being as unstable as it is, means that we have to be careful."

"Oh..." I said. I put on a face of neutral melancholy. "I understand." my pulse was racing. I was truly grateful to no longer be attached to the heart monitor that remained in the room as a precaution.

"The elders will come here later on. I'm not sure when...they didn't say, really. But they'll be here today, I'm sure." she told me. Her emotions were still somewhat of a jumbled mess, but I could tell that she felt better for telling me about the situation. "In the meantime, you should try to remember something. Anything." she pressed. I nodded. She wished me good luck before she left.

She was far too kind.


	8. Chapter 7

Lilies in the Night

Naruto Fan Fiction

Chapter 7

They came in the early afternoon. There was an old man, an old woman, two men with face paint, and a young lady. I recognized one of the painted men as the sleeper agent, and purposely avoided making eye contact with him.

The old woman stared me down. I met her gaze for a bit, sure that panic was clearly visible in my eyes. I swallowed the feeling as best as I could when they started asking questions.

Neither of the older visitors – who I assumed were the elders that Tsukiko had told me about – asked any questions. They simply scrutinized my answers, and my reactions. Knowing the dangers of the situation I was in, I was very careful to play my part as best as I could. I shifted my gaze smoothly from the interrogators to the elders from time to time, otherwise looking at the sheets about my legs. I fiddled absent-mindedly, as children are apt to do, and scrunched my face when tougher questions were asked. I even blurted a few answers, and then pretended to be embarrassed. Of course, given that I was feigning amnesia, I ended up answering most of the personal question with 'I don't know,' or 'I'm not sure,' or 'I can't remember.' When I decided to give away bits and pieces of 'real' information about myself, I pretended to be overjoyed at the memories, no matter how vague or undefined I made them.

For a time, I was able to forget that the curious old woman was there. She merely stood in the back of group, by the doorway, eyeing me with considerable ire. During a break in the questioning, I made eye contact with her, and waved slightly, allowing a sheepish smile to play on my lips. She blinked a few times in confusion before turning and leaving the room with a huff, saying something to the old man that left him apparently baffled. He tried to stop her, leaving the room and calling her name (which I couldn't quite make out over the whisperings of my interrogators) several times before returning to the room moments later without her, looking rather forlorn.

The rest went without incident. As the questions went, they became less and less specific, and became more directed at the situation I was in, and how I felt about it. The man with the painted face who was not the sleeper agent even smiled once at my response to a question about the weather I'd faced before I'd been found. They seemed content to believe that I was, in fact, just a child, and not a spy. The old man even flashed me a warm smile as he turned to leave.

Left to my own devices, I meditated. I'd learned about it from a kind man in my previous place of residence, who had commented on how nourishing it was to the soul, especially after trying events. I stood by the window, perched on one foot, and attempted to calm my rattled nerves. I was honestly surprised that I'd been able to keep my cool and my cover. I allowed myself to be proud of my accomplishment, regardless of what Kabuto had taught me.

A meal was brought to me, as well as a set of Sunagakure-style clothing, which confused and startled me at first. I simply left them at the foot of my bed, wondering what they were for, until Tsukiko came in that night and explained.

"They're for you!" she said, her bright and happy voice upsetting me for some reason. "I never doubted they would!"

_Elation, jubilation, and…pride. _Pride in what, though? I couldn't figure it out.

"They've decided to let you stay until you regain your memory, or until someone comes for you." She told me.

"Stay?" I asked with a mouthful of ramen (my dinner, which Tsukiko had brought me). "Stay where?"

She had to think about it. "Well, we don't know yet." She said, finally. "There's always room in the orphanage."

I nodded, figuring that the orphanage would suit my plans about as well as they could be suited. I continued eating while she went on and on about…something. I wasn't really listening. She was very nice, but she had a habit of talking, which I hadn't encountered since my last stay at an orphanage. I remembered, with mixed feelings, my first home. There had been a set of twins there who had been several years older than me, but who had remained close to me throughout my stay. They constantly talked, no matter who it was with. They wouldn't ask questions, or listen to responses. They talked through meals, over others, and even over each other, when they became excited or agitated. Tsukiko reminded me vaguely of them, and of how my recent company had been so different from them. Between the taciturn Sasori and the mild-mannered, at times painfully shy Kabuto, I hadn't had the chance to just sit back and be talked at in quite some time. It was nice. It was calming. In my own silence, I was more comfortable than I was anywhere else.

Well, aside from when I was surrounded by the lilies. I sighed, suddenly a bit depressed from the thought of them, and set what remained of my ramen aside. Tsukiko immediately noticed my change of mood, and stopped her story to question it.

"If you want, we can set you up somewhere else. I'm sure they'd even let you stay here for a while, if you don't like the idea of staying in an orphanage." She told me.

I shook my head. "No, it's alright. I'm fine with that. It makes sense."

She looked skeptical for a moment or too, and felt worried about me. Her ever-present pity towards me returned full-tilt right then, but vanished suddenly when she realized the hour.

"You should get some rest." She quickly removed the clothes from the foot of my bed and pulled the blankets up over me. "You should put those on tomorrow." She suggested. "I'm pretty sure whatever arrangements the village leaders are making for you will be….er…solidified tomorrow."

I nodded, and pretended to yawn, a bit anxious to be alone. Without another word, she left, taking my ramen and turning the light off as she did so.

I rose from the cot, not particularly tired, and went over to the window, where I sat for a good while on a wooden chair. It was a night when the moon was full, and it rose above the village walls in silence as I looked on. It was beautiful, and, in my increasingly drowsy state, I realized that it was summer. The third week, in fact.

As I drifted off to sleep, I imagined that I could see a rainbow mist of pollen glazing over the full moon, as it did in my memories.


	9. Chapter 8

Lilies in the Night

Naruto Fan Fiction

Chapter 8

I spent an entire year in the orphanage and in general ninja education (if that is the proper term; I don't believe I was ever fully informed). They did not truly teach me the basics, as Kabuto had already covered those years before. Nevertheless, I pretended that they were teaching me things for the first time up until the point when it became true. Once the basic skills were put behind me - which, by the way, happened about three months into the process - I started to learn about clones and evasion techniques and fancy footwork and other things. They taught me a few lessons on healing, but I was never very good at it. Almost immediately, they moved me into elemental studies, at which I excelled. I had a particular affinity to plants, which came as a pleasant surprise to me. Over that year, I learned how to grow certain common plants and a few not-so-common ones. I learned how to bend trees (which were rare in Sunagakure) at my will, and how to kill them, as well, though I never did the latter.

At the end of the instruction, I was offered a job at the botanical gardens of Sunagakure. Up until that point, I hadn't known that there was anything green in the village at all. I was pleasantly surprised upon my first visit to learn that, low and behold, Tsukiko had been transferred there a short while ago, as well. It was a glorious reunion, and despite my continued deception of the poor woman, she often sought me out to spend time with me. She would ask me questions about my year in the orphanage and if I'd made any friends. I had, of course, though they weren't really my friends. Or, more accurately, I wasn't really theirs.

A few months later, the orphanage's owner came to me and explained that Tsukiko had offered me her home as a place to stay. He told me that it was up in the air, and that it wouldn't count as an official adoption if I didn't want it to. In the end, flattered by the gesture, I decided to accept the offer. I went to live with Tsukiko and her husband, acting overjoyed when I first arrived at their home.

They gave me the grand tour, which, in reality, consisted of showing me the small downstairs area and then the small upstairs area. It certainly wasn't a large home, as they were not a wealthy family, but it was very well-decorated. I later learned that it was Tsukiko's husband's doing, as he spent most hours of the day at home anyway.

Once upstairs, I was able to fully grasp the reasoning behind their acceptance of me. Across from the room I'd been given was another, not-so-empty room. The other room was, in fact, filled with all manner of baby things. Cribs, high-chairs, and stuffed animals of all shapes and sizes filled the lavender-painted room, all of which was covered in a noticeable layer of dust. While it brought me to understanding, it also made me very sad.

In my first weeks, I noticed that I was not the only one affected by the other room. On occasion, Tsukiko herself would stand in its doorway and simply stare at it all for an hour or so, before quietly sighing, closing the door, and walking away on sullen steps. I tried as best as I could to ignore the emotions she put out at such times, but was often unable. On the nights that she cried in despair, I did, as well.

Two more years passed, and they finally emptied the room. It was a melancholy day, full to bursting with a sense of bittersweet. Tsukiko, more a mother to me then than anyone else I had ever known, on that day received my full attention. I hugged her, spent my entire day in her company. We cried together. She cried for the children that she could never have. I cried for the life I could never return to, for the people I left behind, for Kabuto, who always seemed so confused, for Deidara, who I had only spoken to twice and would probably never see again, and for Tsukiko, to whom I could never tell the truth, no matter how much I wanted to.

Naturally, over those three years, I would occasionally pop in on the sleeper agent. I cleverly disguised my interest in him as an innocent crush, which I had often seen in other children. I noticed that, to young girls, older men were often very attractive. Certainly not in a romantic sense, but in other ways. For instance, there were numerous girls my age in the orphanage who had doted on the Kazekage for a time. He was a teenager, and they only children, but they still entertained the thought that they could be with him someday, someway. Whenever he was out and about, they would flock to him, to his apparent annoyance. I did the same for the sleeper-agent, trailing after him and asking him all sorts of nonsensical questions. It was actually rather fun, all things considered. I liked annoying him. He made some very entertaining faces.

Then there came that day. It was a quiet day in the middle of winter (if the desert can have a winter, which I don't think it can). The sky was a clear blue as I looked up into it through the kitchen window of Tsukiko's home. I was out from work that day with a slight cold. I'd caught it from standing out on the wall the night before, gazing out at a distant sandstorm.

I coughed a bit, and hummed absentmindedly. When I was done with the dishes, I watered my small collection of cacti on the windowsill.

I was about to go and join Tsukiko's husband on the front porch when he came limping frantically inside.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, a bit worried.

_Rage. Panic. Confusion. But mostly rage. _

"Stay inside." He told me. "Some upstart is challe-"

I didn't hear the rest of his comment, as I doubled over in sync with a deafening explosion. I went deaf in that moment, focused on the constricting feeling deep inside me. He called my name, though I could barely hear him over the noise from outside.

Slowly, I rose. My feet moved on their own, leading me out of the house and into the streets rushing with panicked citizens. I wanted to return to the house and explain, but I couldn't. There were many things I couldn't do right then, and I couldn't quite tell how I felt about it over the panic of the people around me. It was almost suffocating. I started to become dizzy, but my feet never faltered.

At one point, I looked up, and saw a familiar white bird afloat next to a hovering cloud of sand. I understood, and the control over me immediately faded, but did not disappear completely.

Once the crowd cleared somewhat, I broke into a sprint, rushing toward the wall. There was a pathway there, one that I'd never even seen before. I tentatively passed through it, forcing myself to turn a blind eye to the bodies strewn about. Some of them may have been people I knew.

Once I was out in the open, I saw him. He did not greet me.

"Come closer." He commanded, not giving me a choice.

Another explosion sounded, followed closely by another. I turned, and saw the cloud of sand slowly glide over us. Then, it collapsed in on itself, and rained down in Sasori and me.

Suddenly, a pair of hands grabbed me from behind and pulled me into darkness.


	10. Chapter 9

Lilies in the Night

Naruto Fan Fiction

Chapter 9

At first, I was too shocked to do or say anything. Once my thoughts were collected, I first assessed my condition.

I was not hurt.

Then, I assessed my surroundings.

It was dark. It was very hot. It smelled awful.

I felt around, but recoiled when I felt something move beneath me. It felt like the shifting of legs, stretching out. I screamed.

Very quickly, whoever it was clamped a hand over my mouth. I struggled, or at least tried to. The space was cramped, and the partial control had returned.

"You're late..." I jumped, not expecting Sasori's voice to reverberate around me as it did then. I attempted screaming again, but to no avail. "I told you not to keep me waiting."

I heard a muffled voice, but I couldn't make out what it was saying. I assumed it was Deidara.

"That's why I said to be better prepared." Sasori answered him.

Movement started, jerking steps that caused an awful clacking noise in the small area. It wasn't very long before we stopped.

I took the chance to try and struggle again, but was stilled the same as before.

"...Deidara...go on ahead." He said. I wasn't sure what was going on, but at that point decided that it was best to simply wait it out.

A second muffled voice, different from the one that I assumed was Deidara, spoke. The walls must have been thick, because I couldn't hear the person's words, even though they seemed close. Whoever it was, they were filled with rage.

A sudden sense of surprise came over Sasori, but was quickly overtaken by amusement.

"Puppet jutsu...?"

There was some more yelling, and then the clacking noise returned tenfold, but stopped suddenly, and the space I was in became much roomier.

"Since I don't like waiting or making people wait..." Sasori said, "I'll end this quickly."

What followed was a racket of clicking and clacking, and quite a bit of jerking around. I smelled something absolutely awful that was, apparently, poison.

"Your plan was good..." Sasori commented. He seemed almost prideful. I wasn't sure why. "It's just...not good enough against me...your puppet's whole poison preparation mechanism is worthy of praise." He laughed. "You have a strange look on your face. Why were your preparations known? It's because the one that created your puppet dolls, crow, black ant, and salamander...was none other than me!"

Sasori seemed to take great pleasure in the look on his opponents face right then, whatever it may have been. I felt shock from the other person, mixed with a number of other things, but ones facial expressions don't always match ones emotions.

"A cute youngster like you being my opponent...it was the most fun I've had in a long time."

The young man said something in response. An accusation, perhaps. He was filled with both hate and reverence.

"For my name to be known all the way down to a kid like you...is an honor." I realized then that the pride he felt was towards himself. The boy said something else. "What good is it for a person about to die to ask that?"

There was more clicking, and then a pang of panic followed by relief.

"The poison is making its rounds..." Sasori said after a long moment. He chuckled. "To be suffering like you are...if you want to live so badly, I won't kill you off here. However, that poison will kill you in three days."

The space became cramped again, and Sasori started moving, his constant clicking giving me an awful headache. I was glad when he finally slowed down, and came to a stop on the hot sand. The heat was amplifying my usually negligible motion sickness.

A muffled voice came from outside. "Don't be so irritated." Sasori answered. I figured he was speaking to Deidara, who'd probably stopped to wait for us somewhere. "We got our target "one tail" after all. Now it's my turn but...We don't even know where it is...It'd be so much easier if it just comes after us..." There was a certain amount of fatigue in that particular comment, which caught me off guard. Out of curiosity, I let myself sink deeper into Sasori's emotions, which were all around me in that moment. I found that, along with being soul-shatteringly depressed, he was also debilitating tired. Of what, I couldn't tell. It certainly wasn't a physical ailment.

Deidara said something. "Well...my opponent is anyone...as long as I get one "Jinchuuriki" then there's no problems right...?" he wasn't so sure of himself. It didn't matter much to him, though. His concern for the issue was very mild.

The walking started again, and I felt sick to my stomach. I pounded on the inside of the small area, and was almost instantly restrained.

Deidara's muffled voice came again. "I'd forgotten..." Sasori said in reply.

Before I could comprehend what was happening, I found myself out under the bright sun with a mouthful of sand.

As I spat it out, Deidara, shocked to his core, yelled, "How the hell do you forget about something like that, hm!?"

"She was being so quiet." he answered.

Deidara made a noise out of aggravation, and said something I didn't catch. "Well...you all right, kid, hm?" he asked me.

I only nodded, too busy scraping sand off my tongue to give anything more. It seemed as if he didn't recognize me.

"Going around kidnapping kids..." he said, shaking his head. "It's more cruel and unusual torture than recruitment, un."

"She's already my spy." Sasori replied as he once again started walking.

"She is, hm?" Deidara yanked me up by my arm and dragged my along until I my feet fell into step beneath me.

"Yes. In fact, you've met." he told Deidara. "I think it was two years ago..."

"Three." I corrected, before thinking. I immediately slapped a hand over my mouth. I was expecting a rebuke, but received none.

"Ah yes. Three years ago you escorted...this one to Sunagakure. What's your name again?" he asked me.

"Mayonaka Yuri."

"Oh yeah. May." Deidara said. "I remember you, un. You're the weird one."

"Uh...yeah." I said. I was too nauseated to properly argue against it.

"Haven't grown much, have you, hm?"

"Not really, no."

"May. May. What did I have you call me?"

"Deidara-senpai."

"...Yep, that sounds about right." he said, grinning.

"That's what you said last time."

"Was it, hm?"

Once out in the open and walking on my own two feet, I started to feel better. The pressure of hiding myself from society was gone, a huge weight lifted from my shoulders...for the time being, anyway. In the back of my mind, I knew that it was only a matter of time before I was sent to spy somewhere else, and I'd have to come up with a good character to go with the situation. But I left that for a later time.

Instead, I chose to focus on the present company. Deidara's perspective had obviously changed a lot since I'd last seen him. He seemed more confident, and more upbeat than I remembered him to be. He wasn't sour about his situation anymore, and instead saw it as an opportunity.

As we headed back to Amegakure, I learned that Sasori considered himself an artist, just like Deidara. Well, not at all like Deidara, actually. In fact, they fought over it several different times. I understood both perspectives, although I had to say I agreed a bit more with Deidara than with Sasori. I mean, if something remains for a long time, doesn't appreciation for it dwindle? I remained silent, however, not wanting to cause an argument that extended beyond the mildly aggressive conversing that the two took part in.

As we left the sands of the desert behind, a wave of sadness washed over me, as I finally came to realize how many people I'd let down. I hoped that they wouldn't mourn for me, and that they would never come to know who I really was. Neither of the artists seemed to notice my tears as they argued on about the nature of true art, and for that, I was glad.


	11. Chapter 10

Lilies in the Night

Naruto Fan Fiction

Chapter 10

It took three days, but despite the wait, it wasn't so bad. Once I gathered enough courage to go inside, I wandered the system of caves behind the room with the giant statue and its outstretched hands. That particular room was too filled with negative emotions for me to stay in it for too long. It made me uneasy.

There was a decent supply of food there, but I forced myself to eat in small amounts. It was mostly pellets, and other travel-friendly meals, so it's not like I was really depriving myself.

On the final day, I found myself outside the entrance when it opened. Out of habit, I hid, pushing myself behind a small lip of the rock wall. I was expecting Deidara and Sasori, but two different people came out. I recognized one of them from Amegakure; a tall man who was more plant than human, and who often talked to himself. Realizing how ridiculous it was to hide from him when we were on the same side, I came out and walked towards the spot by the river where I'd been sitting.

Though the plant was unfazed by my sudden appearance, I did manage to startle the person he was with. The man in the orange mask jumped, and tossed something at me. It struck the wall to the left of me, and I took a sharp breath when I realized that it was a shuriken.

The man in the orange mask moved to throw another at me, but the plant stopped him. "That's not an enemy." The plant told him. I was surprised that he remembered me.

The man in the orange mask went through a variety of emotions that passed too quickly for me to take in. Finally, it settled on embarrassment.

"Oh...sorry." He said, his emotions not reflecting his words.

"You should be more careful." The plant said, followed by "she startled him," and "that doesn't matter. Sasori would have a fit," and "no he wouldn't. Hey, doesn't she look chewy?" The alternating voices confused me.

_Lackaday, patience and amusement coupled with annoyance and a sense of purpose. _Everything about the plant was confusing.

The two of then walked on, eventually vanishing around a bend.

I could tell that the others that had been present in the room had left. When I'd finally seen them, I'd realized that most of them were holograms, and could leave instantly. The only ones left in the room were Sasori and Deidara. As I walked up to Deidara, who was nudging the corpse of the Kazekage, Sasori vanished into a tunnel toward the back of the room. The room, to my surprise, was empty, with no sign of the giant statue whatsoever.

"Hey kid, un." Deidara greeted me. I walked up to the corpse, but couldn't figure out how I felt about it.

"Hey." I replied.

"I heard something out there...did Zetzu try to eat you, hm?"

"Nah." I suddenly remembered the plant-man's purpose, and my stomach flipped. "But the man in the orange mask tried to kill me."

He rolled his eyes. "That one, un? Yeah. Useless little asshole...good-for-nothing..."

"You know him?"

"Not well, thank god."

I laughed, and Deidara immediately got defensive. "What, hm?"

"Nothing." I said. "I just didn't know you were religious."

Deidara swatted at me, laughing as he did so, but it didn't hurt much. He was using his non-dominant arm, since the other one was gone. And besides that, he wasn't the most muscular of men.

"So..." I started, once things had settled between us. "Is that guy dead?"

"Yep."

"Why?" I asked. "I mean...how?"

"Eh..." He stroked his chin. "It's complicated, un."

"Then never mind."

"What? You just said you wanted to know."

"Yeah, but the less I know the better."

He snapped his fingers suddenly, "oh! Now I remember you, yeah! You're _that_ spy."

"I thought you knew me before, though." I said. "You recognized me as 'the weird one.'"

He laughed. "Nah. I didn't know who you were. All spies are weird, un."

"You know other spies?"

"Some of Sasori-danna's, yeah."

"Do you know Kabuto?"

"A little bit. How do you know him? He left to spy on the snake a while back." He paused. "A long while back."

"He trained me."

"Yeah?" I nodded. "He's all right. Doesn't talk much."

"No, he doesn't." I said, thinking back. "Didn't."

"Haven't seen him in a while, though. I know some others..." He rattled off names that I either didn't remember or never learned. He was disappointed to find that we had no mutual spy friends.

Sasori came back after a bit, and walked up to us. "It seems that Itachi has failed to stop the retrieval party."

"So they're coming, hm?"

"Yes"

"Are we gonna peel out?"

"Leader wants us to stay." He said. I could tell he was lying, but stayed quiet.

"Stay...and fight?"

"Yes."

"Ah. All right then. I'll go stock up..." He turned to leave, but called back over his shoulder, "why don't you come with me, kid?"

"Ok." I said. I followed into the tunnel system.

The size of the equipment room was seconded only by that of the main room, where the meeting had been held. It was as big and almost as tall, with all manner of weapons. There were boxes and bags and barrels of all different sizes, each holding one or more variations of a weapon of some kind, ranging from the typical kunai to larger weapons, like swords. It also held some diversions, like smoke bombs and such, though that particular bin appeared untouched. There were some medical supplies in the back, which Deidara stared longingly at before heading towards a large barrel on the right side of the room.

He reached a hand in and pulled out a large chunk of clay, which he proceeded to stuff into the pouch at his side. He did this a few times before closing it back up, satisfied.

I tried to look like I wasn't paying attention.

"What are ya looking at, hm?" he asked me once he was done stocking up.

It took me a moment to answer, as, in my attempt to seem uninterested in Deidara's actions, I'd simply stared at a random section of the room. It was a small section of the wall covered in scrolls.

"Just...these."

"Yeah? Those are danna's. He has tons...only keeps a few on him at a time, though."

"Why's that?"

He shrugged. "He's never needed more than that." he told me, but quickly corrected. "Well, that's not true, un. He needed his whole collection once. But that was a while back."

"What for?" I asked.

"The complete and total takeover of a small nation." He was pretty proud when he said it, even though it wasn't his accomplishment.

"Were you there?"

"Yeah." He stroked his chin. "I let Sasori take over the big part of the operation, though. He really wanted to do it, so I handed the reigns over, just that once."

I almost laughed. Obviously, being Deidara's senior in more ways than one, Sasori was the one in control within their partnership. I'd seen enough of that while with them to know that Deidara was just stroking his own ego.

"I should head back, un." he said. He started to walk back to the main room, and I followed. About halfway there, he stopped me. "You should stay back here, un."

"Why?"

"Shinobi aren't the nicest of people. Whether you're a kid or not, you're still their enemy."

"Shinobi...from where?"

"Konohagakure."

I'd heard of it only once, from Kabuto. It was apparently a nice place, with lots of nice people.

"Why are they coming?"

"I'm not sure, un. They might be coming to retrieve sandy."

"What?"

"The Kazekage."

"You call him sandy?"

"Did you see him? He was flaking away like...like dust."

I laughed.

"Seriously, un." he insisted, "Stay back here. Leave, even, until it's over."

_Concern. Caution. _I was surprised. It was the first time Deidara had shown any sign of possession a sense of caution.

"You're worried about me."

"Hm? Not really, un." he said, embarrassed. "I just don't think a kid like you should see the massacre that's about to happen."

"You're going to kill them, then?"

"Hell yeah. They came to kill us. If we don't kill them first, we'll end up dead. And we're not gonna end up dead." he said, his grin returning. He brimmed with confidence, but as he walked away, I couldn't help but think about the worst possibilities.

Kabuto had taught me that becoming attached to anyone was dangerous for a spy. It was best to keep on your toes, and everyone else on theirs. But it was more difficult than I'd anticipated. It was easier for me to deal with staying removed from people in Sunagakure, since they thought I was odd, and I thought they were odd. They weren't on my side, either, which meant that I couldn't be real with them. With Deidara, it was different. I was myself around him and Sasori. It felt good, and despite my teachings, I'd let myself become attached to Deidara. He was...like a friend. Not exactly a friend, but something like it. I thought about that as I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

* * *

Ok, so a couple of things...

first, I want to ask for some verifications. If anyone sees that I've used a word wrong, or a term wrong, or whatever, PLEASE TELL ME. I'm not sure if I used the term 'lackaday' correctly...is that the noun term for lackadaisical or what!? And Shinobi. If that's an incorrect term, or if it doesnt apply to the people I'm talking about, I'd really appreciate it if you told me.

And secondly...you might think it's out of character for Deidara to worry about some kid he barely knows. I think it's a little out of character. However, I've come to realize something...JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE CRIMINALS DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE DEVOID OF MORALS. **coughITACHIcough**. I mean, granted, Hidan and Kakuzu, Sasori, and even Kisame to some extent, lack morals, but that doesn't mean they're all dead inside. THEY ARE PEOPLE. PEOPLE HAVE FEELINGS/REASONS/MORALS.

To paraphrase Wreck it Ralph, "They are bad guys, but not all of them are _bad guys._"

Except for Orochimaru. He's just twisted. :/


	12. Chapter 11

Lilies in the Night

Naruto Fan Fiction

Chapter 11

When the explosion from the main room sounded, I ran to see what was going on, but found myself trapped in the tunnels due to a sudden cave-in. I ran around to a different entrance, but that one was blocked, as well. As a last-ditch attempt, I ran outside and checked the main entrance, which was unblocked and altogether useless since the ceiling had caved in. I caught sight of two people heading down the river, away from the rubble. I climbed up onto the wreckage, but there was no one there; only a few hundred broken puppets.

I looked around for a good while, and eventually found Sasori's destroyed body. It was hollow, as I knew from my recent experience. It looked as if it had had an iron tail, too, which was apparently the source of the foul smell that hovered around the area.

There were two puppets that gave me an awful feeling. It was a sense of lingering depression, and I wondered how it was contained within them. I was closest to the one of two identical forms that was pinned to the wall by some huge weapon. It hung limp, with a gaping hole in its chest. I walked slowly and carefully over to the other one, which was collapsed on the ground inside a circle. There was a puddle of blood underneath it that smelled awful. I wanted to lift it up, to see what was bleeding, but the sense of depression was too strong. I couldn't bring myself to touch it.

It was obvious to me that Sasori had been defeated. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. I tried not to think about it.

I waited outside, if it could even be considered outside at that point. I faced away from the scene, understanding why Deidara had wanted me to be away from the 'massacre.'

Close to sunset, he, the plant man, and the man with the orange mask returned.

"Kid..." he said, in a half-greeting.

"Deidara-sempai...what happened?"

"Hm? Oh, what, this? It's nothing." he said.

"...You have no arms."

"So?"

"Wrong!" The man in the orange mask said. He held up something and shook it around in the air. "He has this one!"

"STOP WAVING IT AROUND, UN."

"Eh? Sorry Deidara-san. I was just trying to lighten the mood." the man in the orange mask said with a shrug.

"Deidara-senpai...how...?" I started. Before I could finish, he walked past me and climbed the wreckage. He looked around a moment before going straight to the three puppets in the circle.

"Shit." he said. "You weren't kidding..."

"Of course I wasn't." The man in the orange mask said. "Deidara-sa...senpai."

Deidara turned on him. "No. You don't call me that."

"Oh? Sorry, Deidara-san, is that wrong?"

"You're wrong in general, un."

"Oh...all right. What about...Deidara-chan?"

"Tobi..."

"Deidara-kun? Deidara-nii? Deidara-sama?"

"JUST SHUT UP, UN."

"Oooh, someone's cranky."

"Tobi, have a little more respect." Zetzu cut in, followed by, "he's not such a good boy around others."

"Oh! That's right! Soon, I'll have to call you senpai!"

"And why's that, hm?"

"Because you guys need a replacement now, right? I can join!"

"Psh, in your dreams."

"No, for real! For real!"

"There's no chance in hell. You're too big a screw-up." Deidara said. "You have less of a chance at getting in than May."

"May?"

Deidara pointed at me, and I gave the man in the orange mask a small wave.

"Whaaaaat!? But she's a little girl!"

"Exactly."

"What's your name, little girl?" the man in the orange mask asked me, bending down to my level.

"I just told you, un."

"Now are you a little girl, Deidara-senpai?" Deidara glared at him again, irritation rolling off of him in waves. "Oops...whatever. I was talking to her, not to you."

"I'm Mayonaka."

"I'm Tobi!"

"Nice to meet you."

"I'm sure it is." He said, making a self-confident pose. Deidara rolled his eyes, and directed his attention back to the puppets.

"We should head back to Amegakure." He said after a long moment of silence. We all seemed to agree without a word, and started climbing down from the wreckage.

"Oh yeah." Deidara said, stopping short. "May...I think you're free to go."

"What?"

"You worked for Sasori, and he's dead."

I wasn't sure how I felt about that. "...Oh...what...what should I do?"

"Go home, May."

"Deidara, I wouldn't be so quick to say that." Zetzu argued.

"Why not, hm? She has no direct affiliation with Aka-"

"But she probably has valuable information." The plant interrupted. "You can never trust a spy..."

"She's twelve, un! Just let her go!"

"You know we can't." He sighed, after which he growled, "She could help or hinder us now. We can't afford the latter."

"Then just have her help." Tobi suggested. "Would you help is, May-chan?" He asked me.

I thought about it for a moment. Deidara was adamant that I should be free, whether it be to return to my home or otherwise. Zetzu, however, was equally adamant that it was too risky to just let me go.

He was probably right.

Tobi had too many complicated for me to decipher. I could tell that he saw hope, a potential in me, but it was all very vague.

With all the emotions around me, I couldn't figure out how I felt about it. My intuition warned me against freedom, feeling in it the danger of being pursued and killed.

"May-chan?" Tobi pressed.

With a moment's hesitation, I replied, "ok."

He clapped his hands together. "Oh, good! See you guys? Not so complicated!"

"Yeah..." Deidara grumbled. "What will you do with her now, though?" He was more agitated by my decision than by Tobi's optimism.

"Well, Zetsu-san, why don't you take her to that bridge?"

"The Tenshi Bridge?"

"Yeah! That one. Sasori-danna said something about going there to meet somebody. Another spy of his, no doubt. He'll probably have some good information. You can get info, and hand off May-chan to that other spy."

"Wait, un. The spy from Otogakure?"

"Yep."

"You're gonna send her into that snake pit?"

"...that's not how I would've phrased it..." He admitted.

Deidara, practically boiling over with rage, made a speedy departure on one of his birds. I could hear him yelling profanity into the sky as he left.

"...well, I guess I'm walking." Tobi whined. "You two might as well get going. Don't waste any time!"

And with that, the odd man in the orange mask hopped away.

I still wasn't sure how I felt about it all, but I forced myself not to worry about it.

Looking back, I wish I'd just let myself worry.


End file.
